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Alas, I admit, those were my exact words, but those words were also spoken by a much younger and not so much wiser version of myself. Obviously, there are several issues to deal with when someone has a child. Do you think you’ll get jealous when you have to share him, and can’t throw a tantrum because you’ll ‘look bad’ for being jealous of a child? trying to pacify the mother so his relationship with his child isn’t affected, and keeping his ‘woman’ comfortable.

I have learnt through maturity and life’s little lessons, that limiting yourself or options because of the checklist of the perfect man or ideal relationship you have etched in your mind doesn’t actually prove to be realistic. Yes the other woman; the ex who will always be present in both of your lives. Will your plans get rescheduled at the last minute, because something came up with the child or because of a situation with the other parent? Can your significant other manage any possible drama? And let’s be real, what about feeling secure about your relationship when you see him with her and their child, looking like a happy family unit? Still, it was a great relief to have taken that step. another thing with dating someone who has a child is this…

All women aren’t the same and not every ex will bring drama or real ‘tote’ because of her ‘child fadda’s’ present relationship. Based on my experience, I’ll say that being open minded to a situation like this can be rewarding. Seeing a man with a child does give an inclination of the type of father he makes, and females – me included – tend to look for that particular quality when choosing our mates.

You could actually find a great person who shares common interests, goals and views with you. Possessing the ideal qualities is what would make the final deal in him becoming a potential husband.

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