I was dating an older married man til his wife

23 May

But in the muted light of my apartment that day, I made a decision that I was in for the long haul.I decided that I’d stand by him through his separation and divorce, no matter how painful, emotionally trying, and financially draining it was. We were both in the literary industry and connected on social media, but I’d never met him in person. Sitting in my therapist’s office, I told her about David’s invitation.

“You know everything about me and I don’t know anything about you,” I said, because he’d read my writing, so he knew all about my childhood traumas, bad breakups, and struggles with depression, anxiety, and OCD. We’d only just met, but we could already tell each other everything about ourselves.“This is my consolation meal.” “You’ll be fine,” she said, “I can already tell.” That week, my bathroom sink clogged, then my kitchen sink backed up, then the heating pipe in my bathroom burst, and then I broke my toe because I was thinking of David instead of paying attention to where I was going and slammed my foot into the bathroom door.My depression, anxiety, and OCD that had been eased when I was with him came back with a vengeance. I was unemployed and the little money I had left in savings was running out fast.I couldn’t eat or sleep and I could barely function, let alone try to find work. Once again, I couldn’t recognize my life, and I didn’t know what had happened to me.What I did know was that this was it—I’d hit rock bottom.