Good questions to ask at speed dating

18 Feb

and every moment you’re unhappy you push the guy further and further away.When you let go of the idea that you need things to work out a certain way, then you cut off that poisonous negative cycle.So what does this have to do with recognizing that you’re single (and why should this be something to be very happy about)?You should be happy recognizing that you’re single because it means you can have limitless options.

When you take on the perspective of, “I need this guy to be this specific way with me…

He said he worships the ground I walk on and should never change because I was perfect in the relationship and will go far in life whereas he feels like he has nothing to offer since he is grieving and stuck in a job he doesn’t like. I was dating a woman who really was a great girlfriend, but I was totally not in the right place to be in a relationship. when men don’t feel like they’re “winning” at life or that life is good, they want to shrink away and withdraw from the world.

He suggested we stay friends but I told him that would be too hard on me and he said I can contact him anytime. Men want to mentally work out whatever is bothering them, solve it, and then they’ll re-emerge, ready to conquer the world.

That feeling does not feel good, and the source of it is how you’re thinking about your situation, it’s your perspective. You could have 100,000 songs on your i Pod, but if you’re not playing any of the songs… In that same way, your relationship is exactly what it is in the moment that you’re with that person, experiencing that person and interacting with that person. you experience it in the moment you’re with the person.

The fact is, relationships are not “things” that you could lose or gain. Relationships happen in-the-moment, as they’re happening. So you can’t “get it back” because there’s no thing to get. It is only the quality of experience that matters and the quality of your experience is determined by your perspective and mood.